Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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