it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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