By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
