Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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