Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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