...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
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