talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
