thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize