We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
