oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
