I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
