OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.