PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.