Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
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You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
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He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.