Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Randomize
