I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I AM VODKA MAN
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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