at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm passing your future prison.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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