If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
last night I used snow as a chaser
I need mimosas to revive my soul
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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