Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
