you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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