he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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