No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
