im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize