So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros, bitch!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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