Your face is a jimmy john
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
What did we do last night that was yellow?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
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