:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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