Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
