there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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