Fine. I'll sleep in my office
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
