Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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