I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
