Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
