I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
