How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
