i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
