I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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