There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
