last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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