The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
