either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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