she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
