I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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