I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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