i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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