either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
