Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
