i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
