Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
