Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
