Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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