Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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