you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
only you would photoshop your dick
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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