I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
