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I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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