we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
