try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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