You made me cry and you don't even care
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
