you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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