you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize